When the hits just keep on coming . . .
Have you ever wondered how so much can go so wrong so fast? I sure did. You see Life, being the bitch it can be sometimes, handed me a change of jobs, a cheating husband (and subsequent divorce) and move, all tied up and delivered at once in one not-so-neatly wrapped package.
Pathetic doesn’t even begin to describe me at the time. I think slobbering mess comes closer. I went from living a supposedly picture perfect life – husband, good job, dog, house on 6 acres with a sunset view of the mountains, to blowing through boxes of tissues and antacids, curled up and sobbing as I held a death grip on the only familier piece left of my life – my pillow. I stuffed my car with everything I owned and high-tailed it to the upstairs bedroom of a friend’s house. No view, no dog, no husband, no shit.
I seriously wondered what God in Heaven I pissed off to deserve all this. And freaking all at one time! Good people don’t deserve that kind of bull. Or so I thought.
Here’s the deal.
I was unknowingly in desperate need of sprouting a set of balls. My marriage wasn’t full of love and happiness. It was familiar. And boy, are we women good at clinging to what we know – even when it isn’t good for us. (Go ahead, give me an “Amen!” here.) And we fight new because it is strange, unfamiliar and scary.
But guess what, take a quick inventory of the toughest challenges you’ve faced. Did they not force you to make changes you wouldn’t have had the courage to do on your own? The tough times we face, including the ones that feel like the end of the world, all give us something positive – always. It’s just that when we’re underneath the heap of heartache, it’s not so easy to see the light of day (or escape the stench of crap piled on top of us.)
But sister, we just gotta dig our way out. One shovel-full at a time.
I will tell you this. I’d do it all again to be where I am today. I’m a better, smarter, stronger, deeper and yes, happier person as a result of what I went through.
Thanks to the adorable husband who is 8 years younger than me (not quite worthy of tagging me a Cougar), who cooks for me, adores me, respects me and gives me everything my mended heart could possibly desire. And as much happiness as he has brought to my life, I need to tell you that it’s just the icing. My depth of character, wisdom and strength (AKA balls) – that’s my cupcake baby. I take that with me everywhere.
How did I transform myself and my life from mess to a real life fairytale?
Simple. Not easy, but simple.
First, I quit feeling sorry for myself. Shit happens to all of us.
Second, I focused on what I wanted, not what I didn’t want. Piece by piece, thought by thought, I imagined and then created the life I live today. I decided what I wanted and day after day after day, made decisions that brought me here.
Life is what you choose it to be.
You want a better and happier life? Make better choices.
That’s what we’re here to help you do.
It’s not that hard. It’s easier than you think. Especially when you’ve got someone who has been there, done that and is going to show you the way.
Want to know the coolest part? There are no rules. You get to make them. There’s no such thing as building a normal life. Normal is a crock. It doesn’t exist. You build your life in whatever way makes you happy.
Got another great piece of news for you. There’s no such thing as perfect, so quit expecting perfection out of yourself. Give yourself a break.
I live a very happy life, but I’ll tell you right now, I’m not perfect. I still get pissed at stupid things – the safety foil on flavored creamer so small you need tweasers (at 6:00am) to open, a Beabull puppy who thinks my thongs are for her chewing pleasure and people who answer the phone and tell me someone isn’t in without asking if I’d like to leave a message. WTF? I’m a work in progress. We all are. So what. I still love me.
For what? The end of feeling sorry for ourselves and asking “Why me?” and the beginning of getting our asses back up and make something of our lives. It’s time to get up. Get moving. Get living and yes, get happy!
Life is tough. So what?
Choose to take the good of what life hands you and leave the rest.
That’s what I did. Not only have I ditched the baggage and am living the life I dreamed of, a little something else came out of it all. A little book called Happy Bitch. From my heartache and growth through my fingertips to you. It’s my way of making the most of the hard times in my past and help you do the same.
It’s all about you.
You and your happiness are the reason for all I do. You’re the reason I wrote the book. You’re the reason I answer your questions and blog at www.AskHappyBitch.com, and you’re the reason Jonna and I are doing our radio show. I want you to live better as a result of what I’ve gone through. We both do.
Oh, and by the way, just to set the record straight. I’m not a therapist. I’m not a PhD. I’m just happy!
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